MRT: An open letter from your rider.

Hey MRT!

I heard that you’d be jacking up your fares soon! I love you and I ride you everyday just to go to work. Well, I’m not against your decision but I hope you grant my wishes so I’d get my money’s worth… and this is for you to actually be at par with BART, the Subway, Tube or MTR too!

I’d be delighted if you spray different scents in your train system. Not only do you smell like Tapsilog Happy Meal in the morning, somehow your scent strangely morphs into an abyss of sweat, breath, Victoria Secret Pear Glacé® and hand sanitizer at night. I’d be delighted to take a whiff if you smell like lemon, pine, lime or freshly brewed coffee, just so to wake me up in the morning. After office, you can relax me with your aromatherapy wonder through classic lavender, chamomile or even mint… pepper or spear, any will do. During Christmas, I’d like you to spray scents of cinnamon, chocolate or even bibingka. Summer will always be coconut and Halloween, try some pumpkin pecan pie! Or maybe I’m asking too much? Bottomline: I want you to smell good.

Wouldn’t it be nice for you to properly use your speakers? I get a severe case of LSS (scientific term: Earworm) with the poorly executed audio whatevers. In the morning, you can simply stream RX or Magic. Though I don’t get to ride you on weekends, it would be nice to play techno, trance, chill, r&b, club and mainstream music for the people to love you more. Katy Perry is Love.

Are you really limited with prepaid magnetic cards? Can you have like a ring or a necklace wherein it will be automatically scanned and debited from our accounts? Not only will it ease up the lines, people will actually learn to finally accessorize.

Your security checks are useless! My aspin can spot the difference between a terrorist, an emo kid with dirty eyeliner, and a person sporting last season’s Mindanao scarf better than you. In fact, I was able to bring a grenade for show& tell back when I was still studying. Maybe you can invest on metal or body scanners. Opt outs will be searched manually of course. I’m serious! A foreigner friend gave me the WTF look once he got searched. Your security checks are a total bull.

Toyo Sardines in tomato sauce get more space than we do during rush hour. Can you make your trains longer? We all need our space. Maybe this is the only good thing that can happen when you jack your fares up. More space, less face… fingers crossed.

Internet is the new media. If a bus can offer wi-fi, why can’t you? It would be nice to open my laptop and start checking my emails before I get to the office. Better yet, offer free charging for cell phones, tablets and PSP’s. Or maybe I’m asking too much again?

I have a brilliant idea. If you get more trains, can you offer Express? Like non-stop travel from North Edsa to Makati, or even every other station would do. We get what we pay for, and if we pay premium, I gotta experience platinum.

Well, that’s about it baby. I will still ride you because I sing Aqua’s “Turn Back Time” whenever I’m inside you. Sometimes on a stylish day, I pretend to be Andrea Sachs, pre-Miranda Priestly’s assistant.

Yawza!

Joem

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