… just because 11 is better than 10.
It’s so funny here in Manila. There are a lot of bekies who claim to be manly. If so, I’m Bond, James Bond. Nevertheless, there are still some who can definitely bring it and it’s so exciting to gaydar them. We do it all the time and so should you.
I may not be an expert in the science of gaydar but I’ve seen and been through all the levels of gayness from Ricky Reyes to Ricky Martin. One thing is for sure. The closet may be Narnia-deep, but I can still see the feather boa hidden in a pile of F&H H&M V-neck shirts in pastel.
To know if someone’s gay is crucial in times when gay guys look straight and straight guys look gay, and below are the symptoms of the typical Manila gay guy:
1. Get his cellphone and look for any of these apps usually hidden in the utilities folder: Grindr, Hornet, Jack’d, Scruff, GROWLr, and/or PlanetRomeo. If he has even just one of these, for sure he likes Jake Cuenca too regardless if he brushes his teeth… or not!
2. If he goes to Distillery, Fort on weekends. Find out if he stays in the first or second floor. First floor is always a beki place during the weekends. Trust me. I’ve been a stockholder at that place since 2009 and I’ve seen it transform from straight to confused in just two rounds of JD Coke. Likewise, the bekies love their drinks except for beers. Maybe this one will change their mind though:
3. Find out whom he’ll make out with if he gets stranded with Christine Reyes and Anne Curtis in a virgin island somewhere in Palawan. If he wants to momol with Anne, then give him a parade in Malate. If he wants to momox with Christine, then give him some bed loving, Eva Fonda-style.
4. Check his playlist. Do you see Kylie, Madonna, Christina, Gaga, Brit, or any of the Spice? Regine, Kuh, Jaya, Lani, or any local divas in his ‘songs when driving alone’ playlist? If so, his favorite songs are most definitely not of Korn’s but of Gloc 9, most specifically this one.
5. The 5-second eye contact rule is a dead giveaway. Spot a cute guy that will walk across you both when having dinner in BGC. If he stares for a good five seconds, it is time to break up via text message. If both of them stare at each other, then it’s time for you to be a wing girl… and now you’re officially a fag hag… or a fruit fly to be more PC!
6. If he hoards Bench underwear in different styles the way you hoard Speculoos, then he’s a jeje beki and you’re a pig for buying too much of that over rated cookie butter and posting it in IG. I swear! One more post of that Speculoos and I’m going to have a bitch fit, Mr. Hotel Manager. #NutellaForever #ChocolateMan
7. Test a few scents on him, or better yet smell check his signature cologne or worse… preferred parfum. The gays secretly prefer cucumber watermelon or any slightly fruity to citrusy scents over Old Spice or HUGO BOSS. Walang kamatayang HUGO BOSS! Utang na loob! Diversify! Try Jo Malone or this one.
8. If he applies BB-CC-DD Creams and not a generic SPF moisturizer then he needs to be set free. Straight guys don’t even know what SPF is. Likewise, if his beauty skincare regimen goes beyond cleanse- tone- medicate- moisturize, then it is time for you to introduce him to the wonders of serums.
9. If he works out, there’s probably a good chance that he’s gay. If he spends way too much time in the steam or sauna than lifting weights, then he’s either testing a DIY deep conditioning hair treatment he learned on YouTube… or he’s just probably cruising it with somebody that he used to know way back in high school. #MyHusbandsLover
10. Ask your BGF (Best Gay Friend) to check him out on Facebook. If majority of their mutual friends are bekimons then he is most definitely a beki monster. Manila is small. Everybody knows anyone, and the beki community is like a block party more than a party list.
11. Back when Embassy was the shiznit, I’ve come across gays wearing the Mindanao scarf. A few seasons ago, gays supported the V-neck Shirt Movement and the Cardigan Philosophy soon followed after. Cut to now, gays seem to be members of the Association of Colored Pants and Bermuda Shorts with Belt Breakfast Club. Ever changing, always obvious.
Have fun gaydaring and don’t cry just because they play for the other team.